She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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