So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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