I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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