i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
