You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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