I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize