Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
