drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
