so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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