But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
