pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
