dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
