If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize