You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
