I need help removing her.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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