i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
