its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize