I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
