ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
