she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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