I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
