Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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