Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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