Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
