i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
If I die, sorry about rent.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
