They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
