There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
