Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Randomize
