I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
