Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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