If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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