I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
