i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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