I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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