Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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