i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He shit in the fireplace
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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