I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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