People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
