As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Boobs speak an international language.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
