He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
