he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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