he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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