He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize