she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
