Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
