thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
