I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
