Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
