At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
