took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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