I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
