Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
