no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
