I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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