idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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