Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
