Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
