So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize