at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm so fucking centered right now
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
